Theft and other festive activities

I have been absent from the world of blog for a while. Let's call it a sabbatical, or time off for good behaviour.

I feel it's time now to return, and continue my intense debate, with myself, on all things that don't really matter to anyone.

Preparing for Christmas is the theme of the week, as that has been my focus over the past few days and I like to think I've excelled.

I also had an adventure fairly typical for anyone living in Paris, which involved chasing gypsy children down the streets of the Marais after they stole my phone. Luckily a plain clothes policeman intervened and put a stop to my chase. I say luckily as I'm fairly certain the two 11 year old girls I was chasing would have beaten me senseless had I actually caught up with them. Which I wouldn't have.

Anyway, a happy ending there, although not for the gypsy children as they were arrested and almost certainly guillotined.

But back to the Christmas tree.

Red lights were accidentally purchased due to a lack of understanding between myself and the supermarket personell, so after dark from outside our living room now looks alarmingly like a brothel in Amsterdam's Red Light District.

In an effort to negate this and limit the number of confused late night callers to our door, we have added some flashing white bulbs along our bookshelves, which make me feel slightly dizzy whenever I look directly at them.

We have no music of a Christmassy nature, so we have been listening to Chausson's Poeme, which is about the most depressing piece of music ever written, and this combined with the bordel-like appearance of our apartment has created an unusually festive atmosphere.

Much discussion has been had on the subject of the Christmas lunch, which for the first time is to be held in our own home with only ourselves to blame for the results.

Since we have English, German and Japanese blood, the decision on what to cook has not been an easy one. A dish combining sushi, sauerkraut and turkey seemed such a horrendous thought I would have cancelled Christmas before I agreed to it.

The idea of a goose was floated at some point, but I'm glad I managed to steer around that one, as I'm scared of geese.

We've arrived finally at a set of courses described to my wife by her French teacher, in French, none of which either of us have ever heard of, and allowing for the possibility of a badly translated ingredient to cause any number of distressing outcomes.

I shall update everyone after the event, hopefully.

Happy Christmas, and good luck.